River who I named after one of my favorite actors, River Phoenix, was also going to be my first born's name until I had such a difficult delivery and changed my son's name from River to Joshua (which means saved by God). River was rescued from the Orange County Shelter in November of 2013 by us. He was set for euthanasia, the shelter had deemed him "not social enough for public adoption". He captured my heart with the first photo you see below, all curled up, (inward) barely lifting his head for whoever took this picture. Dogs like River that end up in the shelter are struggling from so many emotions (fear, confusion, sadness, loneliness, loss) they often shut down and who is to blame them when the shelter is loud, cold, harsh and more often than not times, a place of death. Dogs can smell what is around them from happiness, excitement, fear, sadness, they sense the energy around them and know what their fate is to be and so many times that fate isn't a happy ending and a new family, it is death. Let's get back to River's story... I was "tagged" in River's shelter photo on Facebook and many of us were networking him for days to get him pledges and a foster for a rescue to save him (not enough days to make a miracle happen but crazy things happen in the middle of the night with no sleep and a determined attitude) I decided, I would go to the shelter the next day and pull him even without that so crucial "foster" offer or commitment, I didn't care, I had already fallen in love with him and knew if I didn't step up, he'd die. I brought my daughter Chloe with me to the shelter as she too was set on being a part in his freedom and would be the one to take his "freedom photo" you see below, with me. You can see he's still not a happy looking boy even though he was now "free" and "rescued." I just remember how awful he smelled and the callouses on his joints, his ears were bright red and clearly omitting a foul smell of infection, he couldn't come home with me smelling like this and be accepted with open arms, we needed to wash his "former life" off and give this beautiful boy a fresh start with us. Luckily, right by the house is a do it yourself dog wash that served our purpose perfectly, he hopped right up in the wash tub and let us wash and scrub the dirt and filth away, without much fuss at all either, it was as if he knew what was happening, I knew he was special. We then brought him home where he could decompress and get accustomed to his new surroundings. For the following day he would head to our vet to be neutered, treated for his ear infections and skin infection and make sure he was healthy otherwise. Chloe and I went off to the store to buy him new toys, a new bed, a leash and his own collar as we always do for the new dogs, we were ecstatic to have him be a part of our home and our rescue after all the stressful hours on Facebook trying relentlessly to pull together a plan for him, we were his plan! The next few weeks with River were about discovering what he liked, what his personality truly was because it takes weeks for a dog to adjust to new surroundings especially after surviving the shelter. He didn't like human touch or at least he was very uncomfortable with it, he would cower as if he were afraid he would be hit, (tell tale signs of abuse) so we were patient and let him do his own thing on his terms. He didn't seem sure about the other dogs so we waited to introduce him a bit longer to let him adjust but put his crate next to our dog's crate to get used to smelling each other and then little by little starting walking him with our dog. They were fine together out of the house but inside was another story so we kept them separated. I remember a few months had gone by and I had to leave for jury service which would mean the first time he would be left alone for longer than a few hours. When my kids got home they texted me that something bad had happened and to hurry home. Oh no….what now? Is all I could think. After a long day at jury duty and dealing with that, the last thing I needed was "something bad". I walked into the house where my two kids were cleaning pee and poop piles everywhere, picking up wood chips from the front door that River had scratched into a million wood chips (the damage is still there and the door needs to be replaced, I now look at it and it makes me incredibly sad because I know for him to do that, he was scared and anxious) trying to escape from being left alone. He had relieved himself all over the house including my couch and at least 5 different areas of the living area. If you know me than you know how crazy this made me and right away I inspected how he got out of his crate which is one of the heavy gage steel crates for XL dogs. He now needed a reinforced crate with metal clips that he could not manipulate his way out of ever again. It took hours to clean that mess and shampoo the couch and carpet, all while he watched us like what's all the fuss? Months went by and while River had some interested parties inquiring about him none of them followed through perhaps after talking to me and hearing about his personality and former abuse, his fear of hands they just didn't want to deal with a dog with issues but he was fine here, we loved him like our own so we would wait until the "perfect" person was found. After all, we wanted him to be happy, forever with his new home wherever and whenever that may be. At this point we tested him with several dogs and discovered he did not get along with male dogs but liked our female dog, Addi. They were inseparable. We even nicknamed them "Tweedle Dee" and "Tweedle Dum" they were best friends, doing everything from sharing toys to sharing a bed at times. It was perfect. River liked to play with toys but not share them with us but would with Addi after all, he let Addi be the more dominant one in their friendship as she wouldn't have it any other way. He would taunt us and trot around the house like a show pony with them and then growl if you tried to get them but not in a threatening manner, it was more of an excited sound. He had learned crate training and house training with us, boy, the house training was a battle! Could he really be two years old and his former owner never house trained him? Did he sleep outside and was neglected? Was that why he had calloused joints all over his body? From laying on concrete all day and night? Was he not used to human interaction? I still don't know the answers to any of these questions but can only assume. He knew commands, sit, stay, shake, high five, down….someone taught him that and we just reinforced the commands so he would be more desirable to be adopted. To me its sad that verbal commands make a dog more desirable to be adopted by people these days when it should be more about a connection between them and the dog. I'll never forget the night I came home and Addi and River were running around the house playing with my son, when I sat down on the couch, River came over to me and plopped on my lap for the first time, ever. I was in shock as he had never done such a thing before, I started crying tears of joy and took a picture and proudly posted it for everyone on Facebook to see. It was a breakthrough in his progress and in mine. After that night I noticed subtle changes in River as he would become more vocal and behaved much like one of my own dogs, comfortable and very protective of our home often barking at anyone walking by the house and running from out back to the front window to make sure his presence was known, he was protecting us and his home. As the months passed, it became clear to me that people were not seeing just how great of a dog he was. I brought him to our adoption event and he had some interest but he was so shy and mainly stood next to me not coming out of his shell much or at all. He was more comfortable laying in the crate under the blanket than socializing like the others. Like the other dogs who were not able to get along with other dogs in our rescue, I assumed it would just take longer than normal to find the right family for him. We would receive emails and phone calls about him and everyone seemed to want him but none of them came through for whatever reason, to me, it was not meant to be. I know now what I didn't know then…..River was my dog. He loved me and me alone. There are some dogs that are "one person" dogs, loyal to the one that makes them feel safe and loved. River always protected me, always wanted to be by my side. River passed away May 17, 2014, with Chloe and I right by his side. Holding him and telling him how much we love him as he was taking his last breaths, we kept telling him what a good boy he had always been and that he will never be alone or afraid again nor will we. He will always be with us, while I wait for his cremains to be returned to me, I will not spread them anywhere because I know in my heart where he wants to be where he belongs and always did and that is here in our home, his home, where we spent the best seven months together.
So this is where we part, My Friend, And you'll run on, around the bend. Gone from sight, but not from mind, new pleasures there you'll surely find.
I will go on; I'll find the strength, Life measures quality, not its length. One long embrace before you leave, Share one last look, before I grieve.
There are others, that much is true, But they be they, and they aren't you. And I, fair, impartial, or so I thought, Will remember well all you've taught.
Your place I'll hold, you will be missed, The fur I stroked, the nose I kissed. And as you journey to your final rest, Take with you this...I loved you best. R.I.P. River